All This Useless Brooding

I’m still writing, of course. You’d think one kind would naturally dovetail into the other, and if you were me, you would be wrong. I present this as the sort of waste of time I engage in: a fake song (that will most likely never be put to music) about a fake couple (who will mostly likely implode) for a fake band (that isn’t as good as I want them to be) in a story (that has a .01% chance of ever being published). I think I write almost twice as much material about the story as I do inThere’s more of this shit. Click here.

All The Words Are Gonna Bleed From Me

I know, it’s a blogging no-no to leave gaps this wide between posts. Well, tough shit. And I mean that in the nicest possible way, for all three people who read this (crossposted – not even on the site itself).

It’s not that I haven’t been writing; it’s just that I haven’t been writing here.

My love of the written word, of reading, writing, and of storytelling goes back a long way. Probably because writing is the ultimate way to monopolize the conversation. Blogging (for me) is simply a way to keep flexing that … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

Let The Right One In

When you start out doing comedy, it’s all new material. Every joke, every carefully chosen word, every gesture and inflection – it’s all up for grabs.

When you’ve been at it long enough, you eventually reach the place where you reside onstage. It is your home; it is where you come from. It is the you that gets translated to roomfuls (or less) of strangers, and everything you say and do comes from that place – a unified, single source from which your material flows.

But the jokes themselves don’t always start that way.
There’s more of this shit. Click here.

Hand Me The Paddle, Noah

When it rains, federal agencies ignore your city’s need for reinforced levies for partisan reasons and the poor die in droves.

Of course, I’m paraphrasing. There’s something about pouring in there, I think.

We’ve sent the kids packing for the summer to their father’s, pulled some teeth, recovered from illness, made arrangements for travel, done a lot of work that is better done without little ‘uns underfoot…

You get the gist. It’s funny how some people say they don’t have the time for something, when they have all the time in … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

It’s Been:

Obviously, it’s been busy lately. I haven’t had much time for the blog, even if – right now – it’s just a placeholder for the more substantial writings I intend to fill these computer-generated pages with.

I have many excuses, and some of them are even true, like my attempt to write a musical about a fast food drive-through: (Also, they rhyme)
Is that your whole order? It can’t be true!
Expand your horizons and your ass, too! (Come on, sir, I’m here for you)
You don’t understand a word I’m saying,
But … There’s more of this shit. Click here.