Where The Rubber Meets The Road

To do the title proper justice, you must say it aloud with the Keanu-Reeves-vapid-surfer-boy accent.

Many years ago, I studied martial arts, specifically American Kempo (Kenpo) Karate, a style derived from a style derived from the Kenpo Karate style, a synthesis of Chinese, Japanese, and Okinawan martial arts. The style I studied was less a “style” and more a hodgepodge of various martial arts, and though the instruction was superb, I quickly tired of the blended styles. (The place where I studied has since streamlined their approach, breaking off from the “chain” mentality and “belt factories/McDojos” of most American martial arts studios, ala Karate America.

For those of you that don’t know, “McDojos” are schools that teach little more than choreographed calisthenics, have dozens of levels (belts – some even make up new ones, like “camouflage belt”. This is true*.) and charge progressively more for each, advance students beyond their abilities to soak up more “testing” money, and generally keep this pattern up until the student either becomes part of the swindle, or wises up and finds a real school.

Anyway, back to blended styles, or “mixed martial arts”. Some argue that it’s wise to incorporate styles that play to the current style’s weaknesses, and some further argue that this is how martial arts evolved in the first place. I don’t care. I wanted a style that was pure – that is, no one had lumped several together in the last fifty years without enough shake-down time to streamline them. So, I found one.
In terms of it’s application in self-defense situations, martial arts (put simply) is the retraining of reflexes to have more appropriate reactions to threats. That is, rather than duck and cover, you instead block, parry, trap, and/or strike.
Of course, it’s much more than that. But a blended style incorporates movements from other styles, and those movements don’t always mesh. Hard and soft styles, linear and circular movements – the muscles remember these, and reflex moves them at a speed useful to self-defense. But when the muscles are made to move counter to the prescribed movement, reflex is slow or nonexistent. Put simply, if you have to think about it, it’s already too late.
Practitioners of blended styles have to work longer and harder to reap the benefits of the system, but “pure” or unified styles require less. It’s a matter of taste, and my tastes run toward the traditional when it comes to martial arts.

So, I joined a school that uses the Orville Redenbacher approach, and am hard at work unlearning what I have, and learning what I want. Also, shedding about thirty pounds, but that’s not the point.
The point is, however infinitesimal the amount, I know kung fu. My kung fu will be strong. I will be ready for a challenge. Your kung fu will not impress me. I will fight you for the honor of my master. All five hundred and twenty-three of you. One at a time. Let the cheesy special effects and corny cinematic noises begin!

*Note: I am totally ripping off Dave Barry, here.