Applebags

As a Mac user, let me just say:

Go fuck yourself, Apple.

Looks like it’s time to switch to Linux. Take your censorship* and shove it up your privileged, smug, puckered outie holes. I guess “Think Different” means, “Pull the same fascist crap every other asshole company does”. You’d think you’d have learned a lesson after being humiliated for cranking out your overpriced, über-proprietary, arbitrarily incompatible products with Chinese slave labor**. Looks like you’re a slow learner.

It’s going to be interesting when people finally get bored with your faux-outsider, hip “underdog” public image and start seeing you as … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

Daddy Daughter Dance Downer

Horizon Elementary’s Daddy/Daughter Dance, 02/15/13.

First, the chicken dance. That beaked thing in the middle of the ring of girls is “Hootie”, the Horizon Elementary mascot. Hootie the what? I know owls. Owls are friends of mine. And you, sir, are no fucking owl.

I was one of at least a dozen grown men who groaned when they announced that “Hootie was coming out.” We were all thinking the same two things:
A) If he’s doing appearances at elementary-school dances, he should get back with the Blowfish, and
B) Is this really the time to announce that … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

Fists Of Love For The Redskins

You know what? Fuck it. The neo-racists are right. The Washington Redskins can keep their name.

“It’s just a name. It’s meant to honor the Native Americans or something. It’s not a racial epithet. People are too sensitive, and the only people complaining are a handful of white liberals. I’ve never met a Native American who complains about it. It’s not meant as a racial epithet; therefore, it isn’t one.”

That’s the neo-racist argument, and I’ve decided I agree.

With that in mind, I propose the next NFL team name (whether by change, expansion, … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

Unity In The Atomic Age

If you’re at all like me, you might have asked yourself some of these questions over the past few years:

Why is it so hard to find any unity among Democrats?
Why is the conservative base so angry and so seemingly misinformed?
Why can’t our elected representatives ever, you know, represent us by enacting legislation they know is overwhelmingly supported by the people?
Why do so few people know what regressive taxation is?
How, for pity’s sake, do the greedy, the soulless, and the superwealthy keep getting away with what at times actually … There’s more of this shit. Click here.