Applebags

As a Mac user, let me just say:

Go fuck yourself, Apple.

Looks like it’s time to switch to Linux. Take your censorship* and shove it up your privileged, smug, puckered outie holes. I guess “Think Different” means, “Pull the same fascist crap every other asshole company does”. You’d think you’d have learned a lesson after being humiliated for cranking out your overpriced, über-proprietary, arbitrarily incompatible products with Chinese slave labor**. Looks like you’re a slow learner.

It’s going to be interesting when people finally get bored with your faux-outsider, hip “underdog” public image and start seeing you as … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

Daddy Daughter Dance Downer

Horizon Elementary’s Daddy/Daughter Dance, 02/15/13.

First, the chicken dance. That beaked thing in the middle of the ring of girls is “Hootie”, the Horizon Elementary mascot. Hootie the what? I know owls. Owls are friends of mine. And you, sir, are no fucking owl.

I was one of at least a dozen grown men who groaned when they announced that “Hootie was coming out.” We were all thinking the same two things:
A) If he’s doing appearances at elementary-school dances, he should get back with the Blowfish, and
B) Is this really the time to announce that … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

Fists Of Love For The Redskins

You know what? Fuck it. The neo-racists are right. The Washington Redskins can keep their name.

“It’s just a name. It’s meant to honor the Native Americans or something. It’s not a racial epithet. People are too sensitive, and the only people complaining are a handful of white liberals. I’ve never met a Native American who complains about it. It’s not meant as a racial epithet; therefore, it isn’t one.”

That’s the neo-racist argument, and I’ve decided I agree.

With that in mind, I propose the next NFL team name (whether by change, expansion, … There’s more of this shit. Click here.