Hand Me The Paddle, Noah

When it rains, federal agencies ignore your city’s need for reinforced levies for partisan reasons and the poor die in droves.

Of course, I’m paraphrasing. There’s something about pouring in there, I think.

We’ve sent the kids packing for the summer to their father’s, pulled some teeth, recovered from illness, made arrangements for travel, done a lot of work that is better done without little ‘uns underfoot…

You get the gist. It’s funny how some people say they don’t have the time for something, when they have all the time in … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

CENSORED

The following is my previous post, now altered for mass consumption. It was originally titled, “In CENSORED and in CENSORED“, and due to circumstances beyond my control, had to be taken down and resubmitted in revised format.
Enjoy:

“I was the CENSORED to get CENSORED.

The CENSORED has been CENSORED around my CENSORED, and CENSORED is CENSORED.

Through the haze of CENSORED, fuzzy CENSORED, and CENSORED, I try to CENSORED. But I am CENSORED from both CENSORED. And now CENSORED is, too.

It really fucks with your … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

It’s Not Funny

I avoid comedy competitions like they’re the Dave Matthews Band. A long time ago, I was in one. Actually, two. No, this isn’t the beginning of a bitter rant by another self-proclaimed hard-done-by comic who “got the shaft” in a competition he lost.

I won. Technically.

It was after the competition that I was approached by one of the judges who anointed me. In an ill-advised moment of candid disclosure, he told me that the judges had already made up their minds who the winner was before the competition began.
“Sure, once … There’s more of this shit. Click here.

Socialism!!!!! Dirty, Filthy SOCIALISM!!!!!

Well, the government now owns a controlling share of General Motors.

What could possibly go wrong?

Of course, while the federal government is an unwieldy, sluggish, blundering, rarely competent, bureaucratic behemoth, at least it’s not an unwieldy, sluggish, blundering, rarely competent, bureaucratic behemoth with the sole purpose of sucking the blood from the dessicated revenant of of the American consumer base. Mind you, they have been the biggest enablers of the people who’s sole purpose is to suck the blood from the dessicated revenant of of the American consumer base, so don’t get … There’s more of this shit. Click here.