So, my stepson is running a 104.3° temperature, probably the same illness that ran through the household over the past 2 weeks. I know this nasty little fucker of a bug, because it kicked my ass the length and breadth of Christendom.
It presented as a really ugly little chest/head cold, and while everyone else moved on from there, I was so fortunate as to develop a sinus infection so voluminous that it filled one ear. For the past week, I have have not been able to use the Bi-PAP machine for my sleep apnea, as my … There’s more of this shit. Click here.
From a forum “discussion” regarding the possibility of a gay NFL player coming out to the world:
Idiot: Why do gays always have to make a big production out of it? I don’t go around announcing my heterosexuality in public!
Me: You just did, dumbass.
I win again.
Horizon Elementary’s Daddy/Daughter Dance, 02/15/13.
First, the chicken dance. That beaked thing in the middle of the ring of girls is “Hootie”, the Horizon Elementary mascot. Hootie the what? I know owls. Owls are friends of mine. And you, sir, are no fucking owl.
I was one of at least a dozen grown men who groaned when they announced that “Hootie was coming out.” We were all thinking the same two things:
A) If he’s doing appearances at elementary-school dances, he should get back with the Blowfish, and
B) Is this really the time to announce that … There’s more of this shit. Click here.
I’m still writing, of course. You’d think one kind would naturally dovetail into the other, and if you were me, you would be wrong. I present this as the sort of waste of time I engage in: a fake song (that will most likely never be put to music) about a fake couple (who will mostly likely implode) for a fake band (that isn’t as good as I want them to be) in a story (that has a .01% chance of ever being published). I think I write almost twice as much material about the story as I do in … There’s more of this shit. Click here.
It’s quarter to four in the morning, and my body has tipped over the insomnia waterfall, ready to plunge into the weird, waking world of the sleep deprived.
Noelle took the brunt of the day shift, so it was left to me to see Gabe off to sleep. After the meningitis scare, we are extra twitchy about his every ache and sniffle. We try not to let it show. But when I ran out to collect Gabe from school Wednesday afternoon, his stomach was painful and sour, and his head ached. This is how it began last … There’s more of this shit. Click here.